I intended to post a very different letter today, but over the last few days I couldn’t bring myself to edit any of the words I had written. I felt angry and sad and restless and a million other things at the same time. My brain wouldn’t focus, subtle environmental sounds left me irritated and my breathing felt shallow. Weary of negative thoughts constantly nagging at me, I set to perform a relaxing exercise to remind myself of the Good Stuff™.
Let me share a very short story with you. Early last year, while going through a quarantine of my own, I came up with an interesting variation on the gratitude practice. First, I made a list of all the things that used to bring me joy and made me feel content, which included friends, art, gigs along with other bits from my former day-to-day life. Then, according to my mood, I would pick an item off the list and create a mockup of that one experience or feeling. If I missed a friend, I would call them; if I felt like partying, I’d play a cool dancey set on Soundcloud.
By designing similar conditions to those associated with the original action, I tricked my brain into thinking I was actually hanging out with friends, or dancing the night away to deep bass lines on a dark and sweaty dancefloor. Thus allowing the body to let go of the momentary stress, sadness or frustration and inducing it to set in motion the positive chemical processes which activate when we are happy.
I believe this to be a very effective method because I’ve come a long way since I first devised it. Most importantly, this system is the essence of what pressing pause can achieve when things are difficult.
Mute your phone, clear your mind, take a deep breath and ask yourself when was the last time you made an inventory of the things you like, that nurture your heart and lift your mood?
My list this week turned out shorter than the one I compiled last year, but it consists of the same central elements, parties being one of them. I miss partying very much. [Insert redacted paragraph about things I miss about parties here. I want to keep this a positive space so I am self-censoring all the nostalgia.]
Once you have your list at the ready, choose one or more ‘things’, celebrate their beauty, the joy they can bring you and let them soothe your soul and mind.
I know there will soon be a time when I will be granted access to the things I enjoy again. Meanwhile, I select a mix or song and dance my way through finding joy and beauty in the little things.
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